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Drive 1- H3 to Biyamiti Loop to S114 to H2-2, then H3 to Skukuza.
Drive 2- Lake Panic Hide.
Drive 3- Night drive H11 to S1 to S65 and back to Skukuza.
I was dreaming about zombies when I woke up just before the alarm. Greg went to the bathroom and I laid there with the door open thinking about the apocalypse when I heard the tell-tale shuffle of a hungry zombie drag-drag-dragging his feet. I looked out and saw an old man limping toward the restroom. Luckily for him he was carrying a flashlight, otherwise he would’ve been a goner. Everyone knows zombies don’t carry flashlights. When Greg got back I told him what I was dreaming and about the shuffler. He said he had been wearing my underwear. We laid in bed and talked for a while since it was still early. When I got up and started getting dressed my bikini bottoms fell off the clothesline that was strung across the back of the van. Greg said “That’s what I was wearing.” What? “I got up around 3:00 to go to the bathroom and when I pulled my underwear down I was wearing those over my underwear.” WHAT?! Oh oh OH I’m crying again just thinking about it! At some point during the night he had put my bikini bottoms on and obviously didn’t realize it until his undies were a bit tighter than usual when he tried pulling them down. I could hardly breathe, let alone ask questions. I just laughed and laughed and cried and cried. “Please tell me someone saw you.” No, thankfully (for him I guess). He asked me “How does that happen? How?” Then he made me promise not to tell anyone. I was very honest with him from the start; I told him in no way would I promise that, and in fact it was going on the blog.
Did you know? Female spotted hyenas have so much testosterone coursing through them that they actually grow a pseudo-penis which they use to urinate, copulate, and birth pups through. That’s one manly chick! Did you also know? About 60% of cubs from first-time mothers suffocate getting squeezed through that birthing canal. Can you imagine? And people think vaginal births are rough. Pffft!
If I had an Indian name it would be Beats a Dead Horse. I cracked bikini jokes all day and after lunch we went to get changed for another swim. I handed Greg his ‘trunks’ and his towel, then followed him to the bathroom and stood outside until he discovered my bikini bottoms wrapped up in his towel. Oh YES I’m crying again! Greg has this very specific laugh when he’s been had. When I heard it from outside I laughed until I cried, so much I thought I might puke. That poor sport found me doubled over in stitches when he came out to get his shorts. I would’ve just put the bikini on! Seriously, I can’t stop crying. Oh Gregory, what endless joy you bring me!
Our first night drive! We saw a hyena, a side-striped jackal, a white rhino, hippos, a small-spotted genet, a white-tailed mongoose, and all these beauties:
We were told on our night drive about the plight of the Kruger rhino. They’re being slaughtered by the hundreds for their horns, which some cultures (COUGH. Mostly Chinese and Vietnamese) believe to have magical medicinal powers. Last year it’s estimated a rhino was killed in Kruger every 7 hours. With an estimated 300 black rhinos and 3,500 white rhinos in the park, the odds of their survival are looking quite dim. Check out more information about it and stop rhino (ok, all) poaching now!:
Some countries in Africa have a shoot on sight policy regarding poachers, but South Africa isn’t one of them. Personally I think the shoot on sight policy should be for anyone caught with illegal contraband. Oh, you thought it was a good idea to drink pangolin scales to cure your hangover? Kiss kiss bang bang. That’s all I have to say about that.
Hooked on night drives now, thanks Kruger!
Check out our other days in Kruger National Park!